Adult Jokes

I LOVE making people laugh

Q. What is the difference between a Drug Dealer and a Hooker?

A. A Hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

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Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your Mother-In-Law backing off a cliff in your new car.

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Q. What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

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Q. What's the definition of 'Macho'?

A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

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Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

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Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?

A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

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Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it!

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Q. What is a Yankee?

A. The same as a quickie, but a Guy can do it alone.

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Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.

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Q. What do a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

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Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?

A. About three inches.

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Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?

A. The grip.

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Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?

A. It's not hard.

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Q: What's the difference between a Girlfriend and a Wife?

A: 45 pounds.

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyfriend and a Husband?

A: 45 minutes.

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Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don't have eyes.

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Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
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Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A . They don't have balls to scratch!
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OH, don't groan. You know darn well you're going to send this on to somebody.

Live well, laugh hard, & love dearly!